The Little Bow

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
-Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)

(Dr. Seuss will be the honorary poet we have today. 
One of my favorites, with great things to say.
His poems are crafty, swift and complete, offering wisdom in rhymes so sweet.)

Wow. What a ride.

Always has a sense of humor in his approach
and a  helpful hand to offer.
“From there to here, and here to there,
funny things are everywhere.”

Back in the land of the free I arrived safe and sound in LAX at 1am on Sunday July 25^th. The superman of my world greeted me with those familiar open arms as I exited the plane. It did not feel like that long ago when he had dropped me off. I remember watching papa pete on January 18^th as I took lift off on the escalator and entered the long security line. Feeling so alone, so scared, and not knowing what was in store for me and my South American adventure. All I knew was I was going.

And sure thing I did.

Baby Edu! 

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

After spending the night at my sister’s home and meeting my beautiful nephew Eduardo (I am now a proud auntie of three!) my father and I made the final leap- a boat ride to the island. A sold out 12:15pm departure, thus we were destined to sit separately. I found a place next to a couple from Thousand Pines. Whether they liked it or not, they had their own private tour guide for that hour we shared together. Thrilled to be making the vast cruise across the sea to my familiar landmass, I shared all my favorite things about Catalina with this pair. They only spent the afternoon in Avalon. Little do they know it is possible to spend your whole life over here- much more than meets the eye to behold.

Home Sweet Home
"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind." 

My mother picked us up from the boat in the (barely) still living 1982 Jeep wrangler, how I missed her. Incognito, not yet ready to see everyone and begin sharing the stories of my travels in person, I slipped into the backseat with my glasses on and we took the long way home.

Mother from another brother.
"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"

Other than morning runs and dog walks, I spent my first few days simply being. Celebrating my full reign in a kitchen once again, my diet has consisted mostly of dark chocolate, Mario’s beans, spinach smoothies and my special blend of iced tea… 
i know-bizarre- but all special things I have been without for far too long. I began the long (and yet to be completed) process of unpacking, enjoyed every meal with my family (God Bless Mario!) and didn’t think too much about all that has happened over these past 6 and a half months. A time of transitioning was needed, and was indeed had. Today I woke up and downloaded nearly 5,000 pictures on my computer. Scanning over them once again was like going through a time warp. Wow. I did all that. I was there. That is me. So much has changed. So much has happened. So much I have been blessed to experience.

So, here I am. Tying a pretty little bow around the South American adventure with this final blog post. During the process of writing this blog I have discovered all the more my passion for writing so… stay posted to my "normal" blog from here on out.   http://kyriaedwards.blogspot.com/


This afternoon I waved goodbye as my little sister departed for her first big international adventure. She will be traveling around France and Spain for two weeks along with 20 other students from her high school. Last Sunday I arrived, and this Sunday La is leaving. All things really do come full circle.

"You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights."  

As I wrote last, I finished my travels with a 16 day 200 hr RYT Yoga teacher training course. I successfully completed it and am now a certified yoga instructor! Whoo! Now let me just say if you are imagining a “yoga retreat” where the people are beautiful, yoga is done from morning to night and the birds sing the worlds delight… you would be right. But… it was also SO VERY INTENSE!!! Really, intense. My day spanned from 5am to 9pm. Countless hours of yoga practice and studies of philosophy, anatomy, history, postures, safety, modifications… there was a lot to cover. The life of a yogi. The balance of business and spirituality. A divine opportunity to acknowledge as well as move beyond our own greatest challenge- ourselves.

“And the turtles, of course... All the turtles are free-
As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.”

Although unintentional, I soon realized I had led my way down the hard road, by coming unprepared.  I was traveling for 2 full months before my arrival in Costa Rica where not once did I take a yoga class (outside if my own practice) and my mind was not devoted to the study and pursuit of yoga. Now yoga is a lifestyle, and one I aim to follow daily- so in that extent I felt on board but… I was a tad bit out of practice when it came to the asanas, and it was obvious. Fortunately I was surrounded by wonderful yogis who helped me along with their patient and ever loving support. 


My first week there was nothing short of a struggle. Physically sick with everything from headaches to the stomach flu to back pains (all of which I never usually have) to being emotionally out of whack. However, as I became settled and more comfortable in this new place, the beauty of it all began to unfold- allowing for true presence to pave the way for a conducive learning environment.

I underestimated the intensity of these two weeks and did not know they would demand so much of me. But I am grateful that they did. An incredible learning and growing experience for myself as a teacher, a student, and a yogini.

"The storm starts, when the drops start dropping
When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping." 

Looking back on it now, I understand why my body, mind and spirit reacted as such. And rightfully so. I threw myself into an extremely challenging environment, totally different than anything I had been in during the past half year. During my travels, as I would go from one place to the next I would allot myself a couple of days to transition and settle. I did not have that time to settle into the teacher training. On top of that, my flight from Peru to Costa Rica was 7 hours late, so I missed my caravan, thus leaving me to spend the night in San Jose alone, where I then missed my bus the following (long story), left to wait four hours in a tiny bus stop where… well… I had a (much deserved at this point) mini-meltdown and then I pulled myself together. Learning some pretty valuable life lessons all on my own. Sometimes we are meant to figure things out by ourselves.

"So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact.
And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act.
And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed)" 

Then I arrived and all was well at the teacher training. It is wild how the time goes. Here I am now sitting on my couch almost as if none of the past 6 months ever happened. It feels dream like to look back on it all. The same Kyria sits here now who learned to ride a bike in these streets (two times), mastered social skills from these small town people and who developed a sense of “YES I CAN” from all the support of the community. 20 years later, YES I DID.

With that said, this is not the only adventure. I realize more and more it is not about South America, what I saw or what I did, it is how I did it all that matters. The lessons learned, opportunities had and relationships built helped give me the tools I need to better live the rest of my adventure. Every day is the journey. Since I have been back many people have said “I want to hear all about your trip! All the stories and memories made…” Part of me does not know when that “trip” started and ended. If I am only looking at the time in which I was out of the USA, we are missing the real value that was held during that exploration.  It is when I take a step back and look at this one grand event in the context of my whole  life’s journey, that the real significance can be seen and honored.

"You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut." 

I believe that traveling is one way to expedite ones learning and experience, therefore speeding up the process of self-growth and enlightenment. Anytime we go beyond our “comfort limits” we are bound to find something worthwhile. While traveling there are endless opportunities to do and see externally, which in turn allows us to see more internally. The more foreign of a destination, the more opportunity for change and exploration.

When I see people that live differently than I do, I am reminded we are not all the same and that there is much glory in the diversity between cultures. And on the flip side, we are all kind of the same. The Beatles had it right all along, “All you need is Love.” I am biased as I am forever an apprentice to Love, but other than the need to eat, sleep, work, and play- we all need to love and be loved in return. Sounds simple. 


The beauty in all of that is as long as these basic needs are met, and we live within our means, happiness and satisfaction are sure to be waiting patiently in our mailbox. From the homeless to the wealthy rich I have know, the key to opening that box is our mindset. As my yoga teacher loved to say “It is all mental.” And it really is.

"Be grateful you’re not in the forest in France
Where the average young person just hasn’t a chance
To escape from the perilous pants eating plants
But your pants are safe, you’re a fortunate guy
You ought to be shouting how lucky am I" 

Even if we have nothing, absolutely nothing, we still have control over our mind. Ultimately the world is what it is and we as individuals perceive it differently and therefore are different (along with biology, nature, nurture, and all that jazz) but at the root of it all is our mind. If we allow ourselves to view the world in the light that it really is, we not only allow ourselves to be divine as we are intended to be, but we also share that love and light with all whom we come in contact with. Thereby making the globe as a whole that much richer on all levels. Win-Win.

Now perhaps I am just a tired love hippie who is exhausted from half a years travel and has most recently been washed up as a beached mermaid on a stranded island and I am blabbing nonsense about love and life and the pursuit of happiness but, all of this is true… to me, in my mind and soul. But it may not be for you, which is wonderful too. I believe we all need to find our own philosophy, and we can use others for inspiration, but ultimately we are the rulers of our own worlds and must therefore write up a manifesto- or else we may be swooped up into someone else’s.  The deepest joy comes when we find others whom share a similar outlook and passion as we do. There we can really connect and begin to build our own family.

More of these good times to come!
"It's opener, out there, in the wide, open air."

It really is a wonderful world, and I can say that with all the more certainty now. While I crossed some places off on my "must see" list, the list only grew as more days passed in travels. I have a heart to travel and the desire to take me there. But for now I am greatly enjoying the comfort of home, the sweet unspoken joy of knowing exactly where I am and who I am with. The casuality that comes with knowing how the day will probably play out and what tomorrow will look like too. 


There is much to be appreciated about where I am from, this place and the village that it houses helped create the original mold for who I was to become. Only as I begin to venture farther and farther away do I realize it is ok, and at times even healthy, to break that mold and be the woman I choose to be. And it is also perfectly good to return home once again, embracing all that is new within and all that is constant without. 

"Today was good. Today was fun.
Tomorrow is another one."

After 178 days of traveling around 6 different countries thanks to the 14 planes taken and countless number of buses I sleeplessly enjoyed, I hereby declare this little bow tied. I am ready and enthusiastic to continue on this journey of life, and also grateful to close this beautiful chapter that has been one great South American adventure. 


I would also like to thank all of you. I wrote this blog for three reasons: One: to assist me in my nearly mad desire to record keep and remember all that has happened. Two: to help me digest the passing of events as I transitioned from one thing to the next at a rapid rate. And last but not the least bit least… to share it all with you. It means the world to me that you all have taken the time and interest to read a bit about my life. I can only hope it was a beneficial and enjoyable experience, and please do share a bit of your life story back with me too.

We are all in this together, and there is only so much we can learn on our own and via our personal observations. But if we all share some bits of wisdom that we have collected along the way… it is bound to be a much more rewarding journey for everyone.

Pura vida y namaste,

Kyria 

The entire globe I would love to roam, but as Dorothy once said, "there is no place like home."

As I ran today on this land where I am from, 

I was reminded once again of something truly awesome.
The world is vast, mysterious and great- a divine opportunity to learn, grow and re-create.
But it is in this soil where I am always welcomed, loved and known - 

that I can return again and again to rest my heart at home.

-Ki

~~~

And one of my favorites to wrap it up tight...

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities."
-Dr Seuss

Hoy Brazil!

May 20, 2011

Leaving Argentina



The peace that comes with being so high.



Hello. Goodbye.

Four months. Snap.

Backpacking thru Patagonia, Studying in Buenos Aires, Living with a family, making friends, and traveling sola. Yo conozco Argentina. Fui a Puerto Madryn, Bariloche, Calafate, Ushuaia, Mendoza, Tandil, Iguazu y Salta.  And now the time has come to say goodbye yet again, an act I feel I am beginning to perfect.





Having grown leaps and bounds as a person, a spanish speaker and a traveler- I love this country. I have learned a wealth of knowledge about life and love and what it means to journey through this time on earth. As I sit at the airport in Salta waiting for my 6am flight to board I take notice of my emotions and my current state of mind. My heart rate is normal, I´m not perspiring, no tears are forming...

Estoy Lista.

…………..

 

Change of perspective.


Three planes and 18 hours later… I arrived in Santa Catarina- an island off the coast of southern Brazil! Staying at the greatest hostel I´ve ever been in right on the ocean front. A huge beautiful breakfast with fresh juices and a wide rainbow of fruits with sandwiches, homemade swedish pancakes, and lots of love! Plus free beach toys from beach balls to kayaks and surf boards and not to mention a staff that makes us feel right at home and helps us with any of our wild touristy needs. And Mansuki, the papa chef, cooks an INCREDIBLE dinner a few nights each week so we all can sit and eat toghether. Reminds me of Mama Mario a bit. They even plan trips to show us around the island and parties to show us the night life… well long story short- they are just great. Welcome to a new home.



Saturday May 21st

 

Our beach. We are located on the right side of the bay.
Ocean view from my top bunk!

If interested in hostel see:
http://backpackersfloripa.com/backpackers/


My first day I walked out barefoot and went for a run along the coast, stopped for some sand yoga after I found some treasures (shells) and then decided the water was too good to look at- so I jumped in! WOW. Hello Atlantic! Feeling so comforted to be back on an island and running in the sand I cruised back to the hostel collecting trash along the way. God always seems to supply me with a plastic bag as I begin the rubbish rounds- knowing I will fill it to the rim.

Resting around the hostel making new friends, I met a kind man from Mexico and we went on a walk around the small beach town as I practiced my Spanish and he his English. I have been able to communicate more or less with the Brazilians. Portuguese and Spanish are similar enough if one speaks slow and uses an abundance of facial expression and hand gestures--- something close to the main message can be retrieved.

I told my new friend about my 6 lovely ladies back at home and how someone basically daily bakes cookies. After missing home, my girls and the sweets. I made a quick stop by the supermercado and gathered all the necessities.

I offered a few Auzzie friends some cookie dough and they looked at me quizzically. When I explained to them it was normal to eat cookie dough, they tried at bite and enjoyed it but didn´t come back for seconds.  Same with the English. Maybe us Americans are doing something wrong? Or something SO right! Mmm… I love the dough just as much as the finished product :)

Back to the hostle I whipped up a batch of vegan banana oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and… they were the BEST cookies I´ve ever made! Honest to goodness they were divine. Thin and moist and crispy on the edges but soft and chewy in the center- needless to say I made many friends that night as I spread the cookies around the hostel family.



Sunday May 22^nd

Lake and Samba

The next day I took a stroll and did some beach yoga again before taking a bus to a boat across the lake. Recommended to me by Mansuki, I enjoyed this little tug boat ride that was managed by Brazilian men who only spoke old Portuguese and whom had been working the same structure of floating wood since before my parents were even capable of reproducing.



Sitting on the dock of the bay...

Sweet and slow we boated past dozens of kite surfers and I became lost in the hillsides. Un-accesible by cars, the hillsides are scattered with homes right at the lakes edge. Each with it´s own pier taking the place of a drive-way parking garage. A handful of them for for sale signs and my mind played with the idea of living out here.

Literally this time, all alone. Peaceful front lake property surrounded by tropical rainforest.  I arrived at dock 16 and headed out to the cachoeiras- waterfalls. A small stroll through a collection of houses and a handful of shops- dock 16 doesn´t come close to being a “town.” Then a little hike up the hill and there I was. Waterfalls. Wild how falling water is so soothing and wonderous. A trickle in comparison to Iguazu of course, but an elegant place to rest, drink my tea, eat my lunch and read a little.

Coming back to the hostel was dinner night. Everyone eating the big BBQ together with a special mix of veggies on the side for me. After a talk about the mysteries of love with an Auzzie, it was time to go SAMBA! Off we were tin the hostels own VW van to a local hot dance spot. I danced with a handful of partners, most of whom were Brazilians. Dancing really is like a 3 minute relationship. Well one type of relationship- a type where the man leads.

My first and I spun in circles, slow circles but I couldn´t feel him leading me- too soft. Another one just moved his hips wildly and was more interested in being sensual than following the moves of Samba. Another man who stood over me at 6´4 was way too hard- literally put his hands on my hips and pushed them side to side- whoa buddy. Then there was the non-moving man. We stood there and made maybe three circles the whole song. Then there was the teacher- he counted and showed me a few moves.

Then… Mr. White Golf hat man- stole the show. He was both strong and smooth, gentle and considerate, noticed when I was off beat and shared a few new steps with me. He was SO happy! I wasn´t too comfortable with my Samba technique but having dance experience I could follow along. “Tranquila Tranquila” he would say. Not having had many great dance partners in my time- I am used to being the leader. Not this time, I had to slow down and just listen with my body to his lead. That is the key in partner dancing: having a man who knows how to lead and a woman who knows how to follow. Also, having a man who supports the woman. The man may set the foundation for the dance, but the woman adds the flair. Once I told him I was from California I swear his eyes lit up all the more and his hat almost flew off. I felt like telling him not everyone from California is a movie start, but it didn´t matter- we were Samba-ing!

All in all I´ve been thinking about this whole “travel” thing.  As with anything- it is what you make it. And as with anything (extreme the obvious extremes of course) there is no right or wrong. I had to take care of some buissness stuff today, but then I headed off to soak up the sun and the knowledge from my book. After a dip in the ocean I laid upon my sarong again and thought “Is this ok?” I am in Brazil and here I am, just napping on the beach- I should be out “doing something.” Then my father´s words came out from my memory file and said “It´s not what you do, but how you do it.” True.

Happy Pose!

What it comes down to is my happiness and the happiness of those around me. As long as my actions are elevating both- all is well in the world. Yes, there is something to be said for taking advantage of the unique opportunites here like the activities- tours- and local lands. But it is also just as important to take advantage of the open time, free responsibility and relaxing environment I am in. I could go on a tour and be pleasantly entertained all day or I could spend all day on the beach resting and exploring my mind. Both are good options and both are readily available here and now- where they may not be so easily accessible back at home.

Monday May 23rd

Now my fourth day at this hostle I have grown closer to the folk here than at any other hostle I´ve been too. Seeing people come and seeing people go. It has been a perfect set-up for a social study. Life in the hostels are different than life everywhere else. EVERYONE is on the move and it is expected for everyone to continue being on the move- but for the time, here and now, the majority wants to have a good time. And what often comes with having a good time- is spending time with others. People are open to being friends and many want you to come along on their adventure for the day. All eating, sleeping, playing in the same space makes an environment conducive to a more rapid growth of relationships.

 

A local artist spreads the love.
There are hearts on trash cans, telephone poles, sidewalks, ect...
All in beauty and clear view for all who pass by.
I wonder how many people see them?



As I was laying in the soft white sand today, I realized all the more (I feel like I write this in every one of my blog posts, but it is a lesson I continue to learn…) Love is all that matters. It is the essence of life and life is all the brighter with love in it. First love of oneself in necessary and then when the right person comes along at the right time- sharing that love and life with another is incredible. A type of travel in and of itself. There has no doubt been times on this trip where I have thought of having a lover with me, or even sharing in this journey with friends and family. I think it is normal to want to share the beautiful things with beautiful people. Get their perspective of the same things, allow your energies to mix and let yourself radiate because of thier contagious joy.

I spoke last night with an Australian friend and we shared some of our own love stories as we were open to eachother´s viewpoints/ advice. That has been one of the most glorious things about traveling- people open up. I am not sure if it is because they are more relaxed or because they know we are going to split ways anyways so why not just let it out and see what happens. Or if it´s just a way to pour the information out in hopes of becoming friends faster. Or if it is because we are all away from our usual support circles... that we utilize eachother for that loving assistance.

Perhaps it´s a mixture of it all.

Tuesday May 24^th

Survivors!
Brazilian style and for 2 hours only...
can they make it???



 Ten friends and I embarked on an hour and half hike up and over the hill sheltering our hostle. Through the jungle trail and guided with our very own River guide (a sweet dog who lives on the street and walked with us the few miles to the beach. 

Meet River. AKA Mr. Incredible.
Upon returning home we opted to take the bus
in the mist of the cool night and...
they did not allow 4 leggedfriends aboard.
The next day and after navigating 6 miles on his own-
River was once again at our doorstep.
GoodBoy!

After making it past the Tarantula and Ant Hills with the vicious attackers on the forefront (my friend accidentally stepped in one, thus tearing down their civilization in a single step and recieving a stinging foot for the rest of the day in rapid karma.)



Buena vista from the top of the world.

 On the other side there was a long white coastline with sand so soft it felt like walking in powdered sugar. Upon arriving, there was one Brazilian man with his sidekick (who quickly became River´s best bud) and not another soul in sight. All the men united over the round object filled with air and played soccer for hours. Amazing how something as simple as a ball can unite a group of people and offer stimulation them for hours.

The men played soccer as the woman sat in the sand and spoke of Love. We laughed at ourselves for realizing how gender sterotypic this was- but I suppose some generalizations hold truth.

 Wed May 25<sup>th

Joaquina Beach- Sandboard Time!
And...
the perfect place for photo shoots and reflection on the Majesty of Nature herself...</sup>
Exploring the dunes with a sweet canadian chica, two cute swedish ladies, two charming german men and a friend I made at the Samba dance night... we had ourself one sandy fiesta!  

We found something fun along the way;
although a bit one sided
they could support us :)

   

The little boy is without a doubt the best part of this picture-
He came out of nowhere!



Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.  ~Kahlil Gibran


My first time in mountains of sand!
I felt like I was in the Sahara!



Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.  Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.  The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.  ~John Muir





If at first you don´t succeed...

 

Dust yourself off and try again!



"The human spirit needs places where nature has not been rearranged by the hand of man."

 

And the night just got better!
This incredible woman makes these bombom chocolates by hand in her kitchen
(which fortunately happens to be right next door to our hostle)
and they come by nightly to sell them to us. 12,000 they sell during the month of January!
Mmm only 1.50 real (so like .75 cents)
The best chocolates I´ve EVER had. Period.
Plus... Mr Chocolate man knows I´m their biggest fan and calls me sweet things ;)


And then...
I adapted fully back into the island way of life.
A life I am all to familiar with, but have desensitized myself to after living in Buenos Aires for four months and traveling around south america- on the go go go solo.

My view for the past 10 days.

A beautiful wonderful time of rejuvenation and peace. Self exploration more than local exploration. After a few days of settling in I became fully comfortable with il bel far niente- italian for "the art of doing nothing." Walking, swimming, eating, playing, yoga-ing, friend making, dancing, reading, writing, ect... The art of doing nothing.

A new perspective on the art of traveling as well. Staying in the same beachside hostle for 10 days provided me with a unique opportunity to say hello and goodbye plenty of times, as well as see how the mixture of backpackers directly create the atmosphere. Party troops to beach side tanners to fellow nothing doers, there is an ecclectic arrangement of people on foot that are circling the world. And to live with them, eat with them, share stories and good times with them has been a true joy indeed.

As I speedily type this blog entry I await my carraige that will transport me to the next adventure. I will fly to Rio today and begin my two weeks at a WWOOF yoga camp. I will off the web for that time and will fully indulge in the 4am daily meditaion, yoga, good food, beautiful people and perfect nature that I will soon be introduced too.

Here´s to continuing the journey.

Success!

I so needed that. To make cookies, but really to make a bit of home and spread the love. It satisfied my sweet tooth as it pleased my heart. Then when I gave a friend a massage- Kyria was alive and glowing! I realized that really, “home” can be anywhere. What is important is to remember what makes me “me” and then nourish that. Wherever I am (although the ocean may not always be at my doorstep) I can be right at home. More than anything, it is about a mindset. Allowing myself to ahhh exhale and rest. Allowing myself to let it go and be open to possibility and the goodtimes around me.

Thoughts of Amor as the Sunlight washes my hair.

Love is alive.
It needs to be welcomed, openly accepted, and nurtured.
If you have it- give thanks and support it.

Love is whatever you make it.
It can be one night. It can be a lifetime.
It can be messy. It can be magic.
It can be everything, or it can be non-existent.

It is your choice and your responsibility to decide what role Love will play in your life.
If it will take the lead or be left to playing "Man number 3 in the cafe window."
You decide.



To love oneself
 is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
- Oscar Wilde


The key to attaining the perfect love for you, is to find someone with a similar understanding of Love.
Free love, strong love, fun love, wild love, reliable love, experimental, family, friend, short, holy, ect... The possibilities are as endless as the people who seek it.

Sharing life, time, energy and soul with another is an experience all should be so blessed to know. But it is not the only experience. Truly loving oneself first is the foundation that can support fully loving another.

Each with our own backgrounds, beliefs, alignment in the stars, and living environments we create our own unique needs of love and ways in which we express it. If we are able to identify what our needs, desires and love languages are then we are all the more likely to satisfy our heart´s longing because we will be able to relate each of those to our lover. How could we ever satisfy a hunger we cannot identify? While some may be deeply intune with their instinct and thus be able to offer you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it and how... the majority understandably need a little assistance.

 It is like going into a restaurant and assuming the waiter already knows what you want and how you want it prepared. Sure it is their job to bring you the yummy food that you are craving, but how could you ever expect them to make that choice for you? It is an unfair pressure to place on the server and it is also likely to end in dissapointment for you.

Some believe that "true love knows all" and while this may be true, sometimes even the truest of love needs a little nudge in the right direction.  If you are not satisfied in your relationship, it is only you who can mobilize the change that is necessary. Just as one places a request at a restaurant, it is not rude or demanding to ask for what you need. Sharing that with your lover is often accepted with respect that you know what you want and admiration that you are helping them to supply that for you.



Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers
within yourself that you have built against it.

- Rumi


We are all Love Servers. But if we want to be truly pleased with the love we recieve, we have to make our request clear and deliever it in a way that the server can understand. Once we are able to do this, and on a regular basis- we take away much unnecessary pressure and dissapointment. The game of gambling has no place beyond the poker table and absolutely should not be applied to a treasure as valuable as Love.

In the case that the server cannot supply what you are asking for in the present moment, I see only two options. The first, change your order and be equally as happy with the new dish or the second: Leave and find a new server that can satisfy your needs.

As in any relationship from the tides of the ocean´s sea to the bond between two beings- there is a give and take. To serve and to be served in the fullest joy, aiming to please your lover and offer only the most delicious and nutritious specials of the day. Mmm... if only Love came with a menu and cookbook.
But where is the fun, exploration and creativity in that?

Estoy Sola

7pm. Cafe.

Wow. That happened fast.
I came to Buenos Aires alone.
I made friends, I made family.
I learned a lot of Spanish.
I saw a lot of places and tried a lot of new things.
I fell in love.

Then I said goodbye.
To everything and everyone.




La Famila de Amor.


On Saturday I journeyed 21 hours north on a bus to a place called Salta. I journeyed alone.
Heartbroken.

Although I realize how incredibly fortunate I am to be able to have the opportunity to travel, this is a transitioning point in my life. I had a home and a circle of support. People to love and love me back. I was comfortable, I was happy. Truly truly happy.

While I know I am beginning to embark on a grand adventure of my life, I´m hurting. It is so not my style to talk about anything less than exciting and wholesomely good things but... the dark side is just as valid as the light. The two go hand in hand and balance eachother out. If I did not allow myself to fall deeply in love with the people and places in BsAs, this would be a much easier transition to make.

I wholeheartedly accept the pain and challenges that greet me now. They are well worth the deeply pleasurable times I had. To embrace the light for all it is, we must have the dark to compare it to.

Kahlil Gibran forms these emotions into words with perfection:

"When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love."
-The Prophet

In the hills of Salta.

While my initial desire was to hold on with all my might, I know the best thing to do is appreciate all that was and move on. Be open to all that will be. If we are meant to meet again, we shall. Soul´s that meet once and create so much good are bound to meet again.

I feel now more than ever that it is our responsibility as individuals to nurture our own spirits. Learn all we are meant to learn and love without restriction. We each have our own path we are walking. We meet different people along the way and share the same road for a while- people we are meant to teach and learn from. And we meet them at the perfect time, for the perfect reasons.

What a joy it is to share life with another?! Embrace the beauty our world offers and share in the many delights together. Those whom we meet, although different, serve as the greatest mirrors to ourselves. We grow with another and learn all the more about ourselves. Different people inspire different sides of our own self to live and breathe in that environment which is made.

What is the "self" anyways? Does a one true me "self" exist? If so where? And how do I define it?
Is it in my personality, beliefs, values? Is it in my physical being, my mind, or my heart?
Who is this "self"? And if it can be pinponinted- is the "self" not in constant evolution?

Having left a life I loved, I enter this new world. It can be anything I make it to be. And it will be incredible. I have the power and ability to lead my life in the way I wish. What a true priviledge.

Never before have I been alone. Truely entirely alone. After being surrounded by an influx of love and light- this aloneness does not compare. Two different things- I know it is not fair to compare. I thrive when I have someone to love and someone to love me too. I think we all do. The trick is, I love myself. And for this I know the love never dies and I will be just fine. I will be more than fine actually. I just need some adjusting time...

One month.
The "plan" as follows:
I have one month of travel time with Kyria. I will spend a week in Salta (beautiful northern argentina).
Then I am going to Florianópolis- an island off the Southern coast of Brazil. Back to being an island girl for a while in the state of Santa Catarina (sound familiar?). After my reunion with the deep blue sea, I will volunteer as a wwoofer for a couple of weeks at a yoga retreat/farm in the outskirts of Rio.
Not much to complain about, I know. I am blessed.

For now, I am using the full moon and my monthly extra dosage of hormones to help me justify my heightened emotions.  With time and consciousness, all things clear up and the wounds heal. In all reality, I am so so so grateful for the incredible journey I´ve had and the incredible journey that lays ahead.

My natural reaction was to shut off from the world. I "knew" there was no one like the people I had just left anywhere within a 1000 mile radius. I realize while this may be a natural reaction, it is not true. If I open my heart and my hands, the possibilites are endless. I have to first invite Love if I want the possibilty of it RSVPing.




Love in the Streets of Salta.


A beautiful family joined in Buenos Aires- a truly unique blend of gifts and hearts. A circle of friends that learned so much from each other and shared so much together. I send each and every one of them so much love and light! As I send YOU love and light too :)

A perfect time was shared.
Change is good and healthy.
A new opportunity for growth and learning.
I know I am a strong independent woman completely capable of navigating my way around the globe- and having fun while I do so. So CHEERS to a new beginning. Once again I have been reminded just how quickly the time goes... The importance of BEING present and spreading the LOVE and LIGHT always- is as true now as it ever was. 

I just feel kinda lonely right now...The funny thing is I know I am so so loved. I have an army of people that love and care about me, and for that I am forever grateful. I must rememner that just because I am alone geographically, does not make me alone in reality. Plus, there are people all around that have every ability to become my new best friend! Well... maybe not my new best friend, but definitely people whom I could share tea and smiles with.

In a low point today I ate chocolate cake that was left over from some person some where. It laid so innocently on the counter of the kitchen in the hostel I had no control over my hands as they reached forward searching for comfort and pleasure. Not the solution.

The road is long and winding.

Good plan of action:
I realized I needed to care for myself a bit better than reckless wild chocolate cake eating woman, so I took myself for a walk. Glorious city of Salta. For hours I conversed with the low open streets, the foggy misty morning air, the love notes of graffitti on the walls, and the leaves hanging below the sky line. I bought some avocados from a man on the street and ate one like an apple for lunch. A little boy smiled at me as he walked by and then turned around to smile again, knowing somewhere inside that his smile made my day- so seconds were much appreciated.

Life. Up and down and all around.
All is good.


.................. 
9pm. Hostel.

Ok. So talk about change of perspective.

I HAVE BEEN REBORN!!!

Everything I wrote up till this point was, well lets face it... so SAD! Ughh. I do not like to be sad, nor do I like to write about being sad. I know energies are contagious so and I want mine to be worth catching so... I MADE A CHANGE!

I did this...

The "Mayah Doo"
and thank you Tahnee too!

Honestly I woke up this morning thinking, "This is it. This is the time. I should shave my head." I know extreme. I clearly didn´t get that far, half way :) I have had the desire to shave my head for sometime now, challenge myself and societies definition of being "a woman" as well as challenging my own thoughts of "beauty." Who knows, maybe a bare head is in the future but for now.... SHORT is in!

I thought about it all day and every time I saw my reflection I said "Yes, I´m cutting my hair tonight." I walked past a number of hair salons, but thats not the same- I wanted to do it. So I did.

Writings on the wall.

I got back to the hostel, asked the front desk to borrow the scissors, walked to the bathroom, put my hair in a pony tail and clip-clip-clip one cut straight across (well... it didn´t turn out that straight. Let´s say it has a little flair) and voilá!

Done! New hair! As I cut I said "I love you I love you I love you..." And I do! I love it!
So bizarre. It is just hair. Right? But I feel completely re-energized, like a literal WEIGHT is lifted off my shoulders (my head really is lighter now) I AM HAPPY! REALLY REALLY HAPPY!

I ran around the hostel and giggled. So silly.

A change mentally was in order, so a change physically helped move the mindset right along. And here I am. Kyria is back in action! And with a new look.

Once I got my attitude back in optimistic-light giving-love spreading-world, life started to brighten up. Go figure. I talked to Omar (super cool guy at front desk) and he hooked me up with this ALL DAY excursion tomorrow: horseback riding at a nearby ranch in the beautiful hills of Salta with a huge vegetarian asado and transportation all included for a nice sweet small price of 75 USD. Three other chicas are going from the hostel too---hello new friends! And... two super cute girls from Germany joined me in my room tonight! Last night I was all alone in this 6 person dorm room- probably for the best- I wanted to be alone then but now... I´m all open to friends! Bring it on!

Love is everywhere
if you open your eyes.

Alrighty, if it isn´t apparent by the shear increase in !!!exclamation marks!!! I am feeling much better now. Thanks for riding the wild train of ups and downs with me. Let´s stay high on life for a while.


Muchisimas gracias pacha mama.